When the Naruto cast go bad
by DaaNi-ChAn
Summary: What would happen if the ‘Naruto’ series was a real life show and the characters were actors? See for yourself. ALL CHARACTERS ARE HERE! Any suggestions accepted. Please R&R //HIATUS\\
1. Chapter 1

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Konnichiwa, minna-san! This is DaaNi-ChAn in a brand new story. This time…ON CRACK!!

This story is very OOC and on crack.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. Their awkward behavior in this story is mine. It's the work of the great Masashi Kishimoto

**Summary:** What would happen if the 'Naruto' series was a real life show and the characters were actors? See for yourself. Please R&R

This story takes places during the events of Shippūden. It's a crack story so don't like, don't read. I'll be making an appearance in this story from now on xD

I warn you again, this story is RANDOM and very OOC; I don't want you guys to tell me "Ooh, _fill-in-the-blank_ is being so random. Boo-hoo"

AND, this is my first attempt to write a comedy because I was too down from the drama in my other stories.

GO IT?

Oh, and thanks to Saka Salrin for the Neji situation in this one xD. YUP, Neji appears in this, VERY RANDOM!!. Ja ne!!

And now, ENTER RANDOMNESS!

ENJOY!

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**…Naruto: When the cast go bad...**

-**Day 1- **

The sound of the keyboard being clicked on over and over again fills the room as the writer DaaNi-ChAn types another story of hers.

She turns around to see you guys and girls staring at her, "Hello, everyone, This is DaaNi-ChAn and today we're going on a trip to Konoha studios where we're gonna have a chance to meet the cast of Naruto…OFF THE SET!" she says, grinning foolishly and holding her own mini-camera in her hand.

"I'm going to film it ALL on here…" she says, pointing at cam. "…Yup, I'll meet the cast off the set and with lots of OOCness in my opinion so, Are you guys ready?!" she says, waiting for a reply.

Unfortunately, there was none. She looks around, hearing the sound of a cricket somewhere. She chuckles nervously and clears her throat.

"Ahem, that's ok…" she says, blushing lightly. "Then, LET'S GO-TTEBAYO!"

As planned, DaaNi-ChAn gets off of her computer and gets dressed, ready to travel to the world of Naruto. She packs a small backpack and poof! She's already there!

She looks around to see the Hokage Mountain; the faces of Shodaime, Nidaime, Sandaime and Yondaime are there….Tsunade's face, Godaime, wasn't there. DaaNi-ChAn gasps.

"Oh my lord, did they get rid of her so quickly?" She says, holding on to her backpack. Out of nowhere, Sasuke shows up.

"Heya, Sasuke!" DaaNi-ChAn says, running towards him. Sasuke narrows his eyes and turns his head the other way.

"No more fan girls, please! If you want some lovin', go See Naruto, or Itachi…" he pauses for a minute before shaking his head, "…or Kyuubi, I don't give a damn!"

THWACK!

Sasuke hits the ground with a loud thump while DaaNi-ChAn stands over his head with a 10-foot pole in hand.

"Die, Emo-jerk!" She says, sighing heavily. "Now, everyone's waiting for you to make an appearance on my show!"

Sasuke gets up, rubbing the back of his head. "What show?!" he asks, surprisingly. He gasps once he sees that DaaNi-ChAn got a digi-cam out of her backpack.

"Say Hi to the camera!" she says, grinning. Sasuke gapes at the camera for about two minutes.

"….."

DaaNi-ChAn looks at Sasuke who looked like a deer in the headlight, or more like, camera lights. He gulped and was almost brought to tears.

"S-Sasuke…uh…" She said, noticing that Sasuke was on the verge of tears as his eyes seemingly watered. He crouched and started mumbling something to himself.

DaaNi-ChAn realized she's gotten herself in a very difficult and awkward situation so she decided to back out and take a round around town.

She's still holding the camera in her hand, deciding not to waste a single moment of her being in the Naruto wonderland. She was filming EVERYTHING. Small shops, big shops, Dango shops, Itachi, cute little kids playing poker…

"WAIT!!" she said, returning her vision to the Dango shop, "ITACHI!"

The dark haired man, who was sitting with his back to the street, jerked his head up, looking around him.

"I thought I heard my name" he mumbled, shaking his head and taking a sip of his green tea. He was ready to put another ball of Dango in his mouth when…

"ITACHI-KUN!" DaaNi-ChAn surprised him with a bear hug, causing him to choke and spill his tea all over the place. She looked at him quizzically as he struggled to breathe.

"I know! You're very happy to see me again!" she says, smiling. What Itachi knew is that if he didn't drink something, he'll end up dead. What she didn't know is that Itachi is a human anime character and is able to choke to death just like anyone else.

"Uh, Ok, You're a very good actor, almost convincing and we all love you. In fact, you have lots of fan girls out there in the real world…" She said, crossing her arms while Itachi was all over the place, looking for something to drink.

"…I-Itachi?!" she said, noticing that the guy was turning noticeably blue. She sighed, reaching for her 10-foot pole out of nowhere and banging it on Itachi's head, causing him to fall on the ground, spitting out the full red Dango ball.

"There. You just HAD to go dramatic in my only attempt of writing a comedy, didn't ya?" she sarcastically said while Itachi was slowly getting up, coughing.

"You're mean. I'm going to sue you for almost ruining my career!"

"Yeah, well, too bad, boo-hoo. Get in line, pretty boy!" she said, causing his lips to quiver. DaaNi-ChAn shook her head, sighed and got out a note pad, writing in it:

Points to consider:

1) Uchihas are sissies.

She smiles to herself, puts the notepad in her pocket and walks off, leaving a very disturbed, probably scarred for life, Uchiha.

* * *

"La la la!"

DaaNi-Chan was singing happily, skipping her steps while walking around Konohagakure. She grinned once she noticed a green figure standing in the distance.

"LEE!!" She yelled, waving her hand in the air. Lee's eyes widened as she came closer. She wondered why they always look the same whenever she shows up, but she didn't care about it.

"Lee, please introduce yourself to the audience!" she said, filming him on her cam. Lee narrowed his big round puppy-like eyes to the camera.

"I'm Rock Lee and I hate people! I hate the fact that my character has to be placed in this ridiculously tight jumpsuit and act all youthful inside…" he said, frantically waving his hands in the air. DaaNi-ChAn widened her eyes and furrowed her eyebrows as Lee continued to mumble about things he hates.

"…I hate the fact that my character loves curry. I hate curry; my stomach is too weak to handle spicy food. I hate this bowl cut hair, and I can definitely kick that Hyuuga ass and win Tenten's love. I hate Sakura and her pink hair. It's PINK! It's freakin' PINK!! The only thing I like is that I can idolize my greatest mentor!"

"Gai-sensei?"

"Bruce Lee!!"

DaaNi-ChAn nods and back off while Lee is glaring at her. "Have you seen Ayame? Man, I'm into some ramen!"

And with that, he runs off, leaving a very…surprised DaaNi-ChAn. She turns the camera to her face and sighs. "What in the world is happening here?" She says before pausing her camera's recording and getting out her note pad, writing another fact:

Points to consider:

1) Uchiha's are sissies.

2) Rock Lee…is not what he seems.

"Nothing is what it seems, young lady"

DaaNi-ChAn paused in her place, realizing that it was a voice she never heard in the Anime. She slowly turns around to see a tall male, blonde hair and wearing the Jonin uniform, with a white and flame-colored cape-like jacket. She quickly gets her camera out, filming the unbelievable truth.

"Y-Y-Yon…" she mumbled, pointing at the man, presumed dead. He had a grin on his face, almost reminding her of a certain blonde ninja.

"Yondaime!!" She screamed bloody murder. "You're dead! You're supposed to be freakin' dead!"

"I told you that nothing is what it seems. You must be suffering from severe deafness" he said, crossing his arms. She nods, still shooting him with the camera.

"Yup, headphones on my ears all day. Pretty wicked!" she said, laughing. He looks quizzically at her and laughs at her randomness.

"Well, why don't you go for a tour around the place? I'm pretty sure you'll find some interesting things" he said, waving his hands all over the place. DaaNi-ChAn nods and sighs.

"Well, I've seen some pretty interesting things so far. SEE YA!" and with that, she took off.

* * *

So far, she had seen nothing out of the ordinary. Well, Unless _Lee_ being _not very youthful _and a _shivering Sasuke_ and _Itachi _count as _ordinary_ then yes, nothing's out of the ordinary.

But a thought popped in her head, well, a picture of a certain lavender-eyed Hyuuga prodigy and his _'double-digit'_ girlfriend who still doesn't realize they're match made in heaven.

"Ah, How I love to see them together. But I have to pay him a visit by myself" she said, strolling around town with camera in her hand.

In a matter of seconds, she spotted the man of her dreams; long dark hair, white robes, green…skirt…thingy…you get the point.

"NEJI-KUN!" She screams, causing him to abruptly stop and turn around. "Oh, hey, random fan girl!"

DING, DING!! **KEYWORD**: **_RANDOM!_**

"I'm not just any fan girl. Anyway, Let's not waste any ―WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

The girl is startled as the Hyuuga starts poking her left forearm. "Hey, yo, Neji, Stop!" she says, but the Hyuuga doesn't stop, instead, he continues to poke her.

"I have to practice my fingertips. There's no one around to beat. Tenten is off somewhere after I beat her to a pulp" he says, moving his eyes towards her forearm and continues to poke it.

DaaNi-ChAn rolls her eyes and glares at the Hyuuga who has an innocent smile on his face, seemingly enjoying the situation.

"ENOUGH!" She says, taking a couple of steps to the side, away from him. Neji blinks a couple of times before narrowing his eyes.

"Say, have you seen Uchiha anywhere?" he says, looking around. DaaNi-ChAn furrows her eyebrows and nods.

"Actually, I have seen two"

"Great…" he says, pulling on her arm. "…Show me where you saw them."

A couple of minutes later, after looking high and low for any sign of the older or younger Uchiha, no traces of them are found.

"They couldn't have disappeared that― HEY, UCHIHA!" Neji says, running towards Sasuke whose eyes widens at the sight of him.

"W-What do you want from me? And why is the devil with you?" Sasuke says, taking a step backwards and pointing at DaaNi-ChAn, being the devil. Neji clears his throat.

"I just found great information…" he says, grinning. Sasuke doesn't get it; neither does DaaNi-ChAn who walks up next to Neji. "…We're related!"

_ZOMG! _

Both DaaNi-ChAn and Sasuke fall down to the ground -anime style- before quickly pulling themselves up. DaaNi-ChAn is in awe.

"Hey, I never knew I could fall down in anime style. This world is AWESOME!" she says, grinning, before turning her camera towards the two prodigies, filming the great revelation and the surprise on Sasuke's face.

"Related?!" Sasuke says, widening his eyes. Neji nods, "The truth is that a Hyuuga female fell in love with an outsider and your clan was created, so…" Neji says, poking Sasuke's shoulder.

DaaNi-ChAn's jaw drops as Neji continues to poke the very pale and shocked Uchiha.

"…You owe me"

Both DaaNi-ChAn's and Sasuke's eyes widen at the Hyuuga's choice of words. "I.owe.you?!" Sasuke asks, shivering in anger.

"Yup, because your sorry ass wouldn't have been created if it wasn't for a Hyuuga. Face it, dude! I rule!"

DaaNi-ChAn is in a mental shock and now has a twitched eye as she watches how the Hyuuga prodigy –who we always see as stern and stuck-up person- rub it all in Sasuke's face while the latter is crying his heart out.

She turns the camera to her face, "That's a scene we never get to see everyday!" she says before she turns her camera back at the scene.

"That's right, Sasgay! Cry like the girl you are!" Neji says, laughing maniacally. DaaNi-ChAn gulps and takes a step backwards, afraid of the laughing fit that took a toll on Neji. All of the sudden, he turns his head to face her, abruptly stopping his laughter, and looks at her.

"Hey, where are you going?!" Neji says, taking a step towards her. DaaNi-ChAn laughs nervously.

"Uh, What? Ooh, someone's calling me. That's my cue, Ja na!"

POOF! And she disappears in a puff of smoke.

Neji looks at where the girl was standing before moving his eyes towards Sasuke who is wiping his tears away.

"Where did she go?!"

"Beats me!"

A voice is heard all over the speakers. "HYUUGA NEJI! ROCK LEE! HURRY UP YOUR SORRY ASSES, WE'RE FILMING!! HEY, KISAME, STOP PLAYING WITH THE MICROPHONE YOU IDI―" the voice of the executive producer was cut by something.

The boys look at each other before sighing heavily. "Well, kick your ass later!" Neji says, walking towards the studio where they are filming the new Naruto Shippūden episodes. Sasuke looks around him and finds out that he is alone.

"Damn, I hate that my character was written out of the show…" he says, looking around, "…at least that pole-girl disappeared. So that means no more beating and scaring the living shit out of me" he continues, rubbing the back of his head.

Out of nowhere, a void in the area in front of him is created, and a 10-foot pole comes down at him, sending him face down in the dirt. The pole is sucked back into the void and the hole closes, leaving Sasuke on the ground, bleeding and crying how injustice that was.

POOF! 

DaaNi-ChAn opens her eyes to see that she is back in her home and on the PC, writing the new chapters of two other stories she owns.

She stops writing and looks at you who are almost in shock of what you just witnessed. "I hope you liked what happened today. I might go for another round some other time! Please stay tuned and tell me if you want to see more randomness" she says, waving her hand in the air as the screen fades to black.

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**RANDOM! I know!! **

**Please Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

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**Reviews:**

Kirri kitty: God, I should've known you're going to be my first reviewer. I'm so glad you like it and like you said, my lover isn't himself _–cries-_. I'm glad you liked it and thanks for the review.

Saka Salrin: Well, You'll have to wait and see _–evil laugh-_

Friesenator: LOL! More RANDOMNESS is on the way. Thanks for the review.

AngelFoxtail: _-eye twitch and a nervous laugh-_ ok? LoL. Thx for the review.

CommittedToKiba: LoL, Yeah, you're mentioned in this one. Thx for your review hun, gr8 nickname.

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Thanks for everyone who reviewed. Glad you guys liked Neji's OOCness, thought the world would end without Lee's Youthfulness and thought having a Gay couple in my story would do it nicely xD. 

Yeah, _Angel_, Gay couple! But Gaara & Naruto? C'mon! I wonder how _Saka_ didn't kill you already!

Have fun in that straight jacket.

You'll have heart attacks at the end of this story, I assure you xP

From now on, any members want to join this story and appear in it, please let me know in your reviews, and PM me with your descriptions xD

Now, let's move on. Shall we?

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own _Naruto_ or any character that are _real-life members_ on I also don't own anything from the _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ Or _Naruto abridged series_

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**…Naruto: When the cast go bad…  
****Day 2**

DaaNi-ChAn is in deep slumber in her pink pajamas and the octopus _-complete with the eight tentacles…thingies-_ head cap. She was trying to have a cap similar to Naruto's sleeping one, but she was failing miserably. She wakes up at 2:34am, realizing it was too early for any human to wake up but…

"I HAVE A PLAN TO SNEAK ON SOMEONE!" She whispers, pretty loudly. She gets up, takes of the cap and changes into a black ninja outfit, complete with a Kakashi-like Mask.

"YEAH! I have a mask! So?!?!" She yells, before dodging something that came from outside her window. She looks at the window and sighs.

"Stupid Saka…" She mumbles, glaring at Saka Salrin's apartment window "…throwing random things at me." she says, sighing. Another thing comes in, flying through the window, hitting DaaNi-ChAn in the back of the head.

"OUCH!" she yells, rubbing the back of her head and looks outside the window to see AngelFoxTail, grinning goofily at her.

"Arrgh! I don't have time for this crack-ness _(yeah, right)_! Time to go to **_NaruLand_**!"

DaaNi-ChAn packs her backpack with her favorite 10-foot pole in it.

**POOF!**

DaaNi-ChAn opens her eyes and is welcomed with darkness, "Oh my god! Where am I? Am I blind?!" she says, blinking a couple of times.

_Kirri kitty: Turn around, IDIOT!!_

DaaNi-ChAn thinks she heard a voice that told her to turn around and she complies. Everything becomes clear. Apparently, our adventurer was facing a wall, thus not being able to see anything.

"Wait, am I in Konoha?!" She says, looking around. Houses looks different and the streets barely has lights, not to mention the _super special awesome_ hot weather _(Yeah, this is the Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged series part)_

"Why is it so hot in here?!" She says, waving her hand at her to give herself a small breeze. She takes a couple of steps before stopping, looking at a very, VERY familiar building. A hay ball comes rolling in front of her, increasing the thrill of the scene

_-Blink, blink-_

A round looking building with the Kanji of "Wind" written upon it appears in her range of vision. Then suddenly, the sun comes up and the streets become busy. DaaNi-ChAn knotted her eyebrows and looked around.

"What the heck?!" she asked herself, "How the heck did everyone appear so quickly?"

"Welcome to Anime world, NaruLand!"

She turns around to come face to face with none other than our favorite puppet master in the whole universe….

…not quite.

"Who are you?!" She asks the red-haired, black-with-red-clouds-cloaked man in front of her. He smirks at her before changing his smirk into a smile.

"My name is _Master Sasori_, you can call me, _Sasori no danna_" he says, smiling. DaaNi-ChAn is a bit confused.

"Uh, isn't that the same sentence but in a different language?" she asks, rubbing the back of her neck. He chuckles.

"Yes, but it'll make you sound sophisticated, not to mention smarter, to say it in another language while you're dressed in THAT!" he says, pointing at her black ninja outfit. She shakes her head and sighs.

"Alright, where am I? Why did everything change so quickly?" She asks, looking at the people. Sasori shrugs. "Anything is expected in the anime world, dear…" he says, raising his hands in the air. DaaNi-ChAn goes quiet for a couple of seconds before she notices a vein popping in Sasori's head as his hands balls into fists.

"What?!" she innocently asks, causing him to narrow his eyes at her.

"I HATE WAITING!" he suddenly yells, his voice makes the girl fly a couple of feet backwards and onto her butt. Sasori clears his throat and smiled.

"There, Welcome to Sunagakure"

**_DING, DING. _**

**_Next stop: Sunagakure _**

"Whoa! How did I get to Suna?!" She asks, looking at Sasori who shakes his head. "On your feet, Hahaha" he laughs, holding his sides. When he finds that DaaNi-ChAn doesn't really think it is funny, he stops.

"Uh, ahem, I have no clue" he says, going silent for a while. DaaNi-ChAn gets up and dusts off her ninja outfit. She looks at the sky and wonders.

_'Who is in Sunagakure?'_

**_-Insert Gaara picture and some dreamy music and harps playing-_**

Sasori looks at the girl who was blushing like crazy and has stars instead of her eyes. He sighs, shaking his head. A vein popping in his head and his hands get balled into fists. DaaNi-ChAn notices it and gets out her ten-foot pole.

_THWACK!_

She walks towards the round-shaped building, leaving Sasori on the ground with a huge bruise on his head, hoping he doesn't have a concussion.

She walks around the city, and then decides to change out of her Ninja outfit, since it could only be used at night and it looked awfully ridiculous on her. She walks into a clothes shop and buys a Blue Yukata with yellow Obi **_(similar to Temari's style)_**

"Ah, this is comfortable!" She says, smiling. DaaNi-ChAn decides to pay her beloved Gaara a visit.

"GAARA!!!" She yells as she runs towards the round-shaped building, known as the Kazekage main building. Somewhere in some room in the building, a certain red-haired flinched and twitched as the sound got closer.

"I know you're here! Come on OUT!" she says, looking right and left for any sign of the red-haired. Suddenly, a black figure was pushed out of one of the rooms.

"You!" the person says. DaaNi-ChAn smiles once she recognizes the person.

"KANKUROU-KUN!" She says, hugging him tightly. Kankurou rolls his eyes and pushes her away, causing her to fall on her butt.

"Oi, my cute little bottom is way too precious for you to push me on it like that!" She says, getting up and dusting off her clothes. "I've had my share of butt-falls!" She exclaims, looking at Kankurou who seems far more than interested in the conversation. In fact, he was spacing out, really, spacing out.

"Yellow? Are ya still there?" She says, waving her hand in his face. He blinks a couple of times before narrowing his eyes. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? SNAPPING ON ME LIKE THAT, HUH?!"

DaaNi-ChAn gulps and takes a step backwards, slowly reaching for her backpack. Kankurou looks right and left, up and down.

"What are you looking for?!" she asks, resting her hands on her hips. Kankurou looks at her and frowns.

"I'm looking for my puppet. He started walking off without letting me know. I think…I think he broke up with me" He exclaims, crying his heart out.

_-Blink, blink-_

WAY OCC!

DaaNi-ChAn decides to help Kankurou, telling him that if she is to see his puppet, she'll talk to him. _'Him, a puppet, eh? Who would've thought?'_ She thinks as she strolls down the building's corridor. She sees a hint of blonde hair which is tied in four wild ponytails _-which she always questions its possibility-_ that only belongs to one female character of Naruto.

"TeMaRi-SAAAAAAN!!"

Temari turns around and grins, "Yo, girl! How's it hangin'?" she says, crossing her arms. DaaNi-ChAn's eye twitches.

"What's wrong with your accent?" she asks, looking at Temari who gives her a quizzical look. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with my accent, young miss!" she politely says, putting her hands behind her back.

DaaNi-ChAn looks quizzically back at Temari, "first YO and now Young miss? What's next?" She says, blinking a couple of times. Temari sighs and shakes her head.

"I'm not in the mood for games…" Temari says, taking a couple of steps closer to our heroine. "…get out of my way, or die"

_GULP! _

DaaNi-ChAn looks at you readers with a blank look on her face, "Now this is what I call The _'Gaara'_ syndrome" she says, looking back at the crazy woman with a severe split personality case.

Temari grins, looking malicious. DaaNi-ChAn has nothing to do but run away and hide in one of the rooms. After closing the door and locking it, she sighs and leans against the door…

…not knowing whose room was that.

DaaNi-ChAn heard some giggling, making her raise an eyebrow. It came from behind the big chair which was behind the huge desk. She sneaks quietly and stealthily behind the chair and looks at the person sitting behind it.

Red hair, pale skin, white and blue uniform…all the description fit the man of her dreams….

…in his hands was some sort of a book…

…err, not quite, it was a porn magazine

"PORN!!!"

The young man screams in horror and the magazine flies from his hands and lands a couple of feet away from him.

"W-What got you in here?!" he says, looking around for any sign of breaking and entering. DaaNi-ChAn sighs.

"C'mon, the door was open, besides, WHAT in the WORLD are you doing with that magazine?!" she asks, pointing at the magazine which is open on a page of a woman sitting in a very explicit position. Gaara looks away, before looking at the ceiling.

"I was, uh, making….writing a mission, ordering my, um, my ninjas to…" he stutters, trying to find a good lie. He realizes by the look on her face that he was failing miserably

"Oh, C'mon! I'm bored! I've been dead on that series for the past twelve episodes and they've been showing those two gay people fighting that old hag instead!"

"Chiyo-baa-sama?"

"No, the pink-haired one! Man, I hate her guts. She thinks she's cool and all. I can't believe people think we have a 'thing'…" he says, making quotation marks with his fingers. "…I don't even know her freakin' name. It was something like sack-Of-aura or something…" he continues, thinking. DaaNi-ChAn widens her eyes.

"You mean…you and Sakura―"

"―Sakura! Thank you!" he says, finally remembering her name. DaaNi-ChAn feels a bit angered by the interruption but brushes it off coolly. "As I was saying…" she says, resting her hands on her hips.

"You and Sakura are an item?!" she surprisingly asks while Gaara sighs heavily. "No, we're not. Everyone is presuming ―What are you doing?!" he says as the girl is now behind his desk, looking through the drawers. "Looking for a memoir, something to remind me that I once was in Sunagakure"

Gaara sighs, "You're no different from the other one" he says, making DaaNi-ChAn raise her head from her search. "What other one?!" she replies, looking quizzically at him.

"That girl, came by a couple of days ago…" he mumbles, narrowing his eyes, "…brown hair, blond and dark brown highlights, blue/green eyes, about 5'9" he says, measuring the height with his hand.

DaaNi-ChAn gasps. Those descriptions fit someone she knows very well. "Mel…" she mumbles the name of her friend, also known as '_EngagedToSai'_, though it doesn't make sense because she hates Sai's guts.

"That's not her penname…" he says, points at upwards on the reviews section, "…her penname is CommittedToKiba now" he continues, causing DaaNi-ChAn to look at the ceiling, wondering where he's pointing.

"Where the hell are you pointing?!"

**Anyway, let's continue with the story, shall we? **

"…and you ran into her?" she asks, crossing her arms. Gaara nods.

"Nah, she kinda ran into me. Pretty nice girl, cute smile, eyes like mine, nice hair style; She's a total Naru―"

THWACK! 

He doesn't complete the sentence, for the great 10-foot-pole came crashing down on his head.

"OUCH! MY HAIR, WOMAN!!" he yells, touching his bruised head. DaaNi-ChAn smiles and packs the TFP back in her backpack.

He rubs his head, fixing his hair, "As I was saying, a complete Narutard, but overly hyper…" he says, pointing at his own head, "…If you know what I mean"

DaaNi-ChAn snorts, "You're telling me. That girl belongs in a straight jacket" she says, rolling her eyes. She continues to search for something in the drawer to find.

"Oooh! What is THAT?!" she says, reaching for a picture of Gaara. She narrows her eyes, noticing that he was lacking a bit of clothes.

She points at the picture before looking at Gaara who has a horrified look on his face, "Uh, that, um…I was, err…" he stutters, walking closer to her. She dodges his 'attack' when he lunges at her, trying to snatch the picture away.

He turns around to find her standing at the door, "Thanks for the memoir, Gaara-kun, I'll make sure to show it to the fan girls" and with that, the girl takes off, leaving a very shocked and devastated Gaara.

"That was only a photo shoot for playgirl magazine, it meant nothing to me…" he yells, hoping she would hear him. Gaara smacks his forehead, "…my character is so dead"

DaaNi-ChAn is walking blissfully around Suna, humming her favorite Naruto song, _'fighting dreamers'_, wondering who she will run into now. "So far, I ran into Sasori, Temari, Kankurou and Slut, I mean, Gaara. Hmm, I wonder who'll show up next"

Just as she is about to finish that line, she is wrapped in a rope and ends up face down in the dirt.

"Got her, Gaara-sensei!"

"Good for you, Matsuri, now here's some cash, by yourself something nice and don't do drugs, they're bad for you but good for me" Gaara said, winking at her before going to our heroine, Aka, Me!

"Gaara, you bitch…" she exclaims, looking up as Gaara stands in front of her, tapping his foot. "…get me out of this"

He smirks and crosses his arms, "Thanks to Matsuri's constant training of her Jouhyou, she mastered it and got your ass whipped" he says, making the sound of a whip, reaching for her backpack and getting the picture out.

"HEY, DON'T TOUCH MY PRIVATE PROPERTY!" she says, struggling to untie herself. Gaara smirks and waves the picture.

"Blackmail doesn't work with people like me" he says, grinning maliciously. DaaNi-ChAn looks up at him and sticks her tongue out. "I guess having more than one copy of the picture" she says, grinning evilly. Gaara's eyes widen.

"How the hell did you get a copy!?" he says, shocked, making her grin wider. "I'm the writer of this fiction; I could do whatever I want"

**RIGHT? **

_-blink, blink- _

"Are you there?" she asks, looking at Gaara who was gazing at the photo. He nods, grinning widely.

"Then Untie me you slut!"

He glares at her, "You can't blame me for having an ultra attractive body…" he says, grinning. DaaNi-ChAn rolls her eyes.

"Yo, Sup"

"Hey, dude"

DaaNi-ChAn is puzzled when she sees Gaara, shaking hands with Deidara whose left eye was normal. Deidara looks at our writer and narrows his eyes, "A new one? Didn't you have that Mel girl?" he says, looking at the sky, "Man, that girl was awesome! We had a total blast with her! She's so fun!" he says, grinning at Gaara who was grinning back, nodding.

"Yeah, She was awesome" Gaara says, looking down at DaaNi-ChAn who was glaring at the two.

"Gaara…" she mumbles, struggling out of the ropes, "…you lost your emo powers and I lost faith in you"

"Hey, no matter what happens, don't forget that I'm the real Emo kid here, not Sasuke"

Sasuke pops out of nowhere, "What did you just say? No one is more emo than me!" he exclaims, starting a slap fight with Gaara. DaaNi-ChAn rolls her eyes, unties herself and reaches for the magical wand…

…aka 10-foot-pole!

THWACK, SMACK, BINGGGG! 

Both Gaara and Sasuke are being assaulted by our random writer as the run for their lives from the wrath of the pole.

"Stop it, woman. My goddamn hair!"

"Mommy, I want my mommy!"

"This is very bad" Deidara mumbles, before finding himself being thwacked in the head as well.

A couple of minutes of smacking, thwacking and beating the crap out of the three, DaaNi-ChAn gets her notebook out of the back and puts a new note:

_Points to consider:_

_1) Uchiha's are sissies.  
2) Rock Lee…is not what he seems.  
3) Gaara is a porn star_

"WAIT!" she says, scratching the last one, remembering that she forgot something really important.

_Points to consider:_

_1) Uchiha's are sissies.  
2) Rock Lee…is not what he seems.  
-3-)-G-a-a-r-a--i-s-a--p-o-r-n--s-t-a-r-  
3) Beware of the Hyuuga's, especially Hyuuga Neji. He's wild._

She grins to herself before writing the forth note:

_4) Gaara is a porn star_

Satisfied with her work, DaaNi-ChAn grins and bids farewell to our beaten up guys, hoping to see them next time before disappearing into a puff of pink smoke.

**POOF!!**

DaaNi-ChAn is back in her home, sitting on the computer, writing another chapter of her random stories before pausing.

"Who the hell gave me pink smoke?!" She asks herself before looking at you readers. "I hope you enjoyed our trip today. We'll be visiting Konoha next time, cuz this time SOMEONE messed with my transportation device…" she says, reaching for something from her backpack. She giggles evilly as she put the item into the scanner and scans it on her computer.

"Boy, Gaara fan girls are so gonna go wild after seeing this picture!" she says, evilly grinning as she attaches the picture in a mail and sends it to everyone on her contact list.

"Ja na, everyone!" she says, waving innocently at you readers, hoping you would review.

* * *

**YOU HEARD HER! **

**Review please!**


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